Anger Management: 5 Techniques That Work + When to Get Help

Anger is a normal emotion — it can signal that something is wrong and motivate change. But when it explodes, lingers, or damages your relationships and work, it’s worth learning to manage it. Here are practical techniques and when to get support.

When anger becomes a problem

• Outbursts you regret afterward
• Yelling, slamming things, or saying things you don’t mean
• Feeling irritable most of the time
• Anger causing problems at work, with a partner, or with kids
• Holding grudges or ruminating for days
• Using alcohol or other substances to calm down

The American Psychological Association notes that anger can become destructive when it gets out of control, leading to problems at work, in personal relationships, and in overall quality of life.

Techniques that help in the moment

1. Pause. Step away and give yourself time before responding.
2. Slow your breathing with long exhales to calm your body’s alarm response.
3. Notice your early warning signs — clenched jaw, heat in your face, tight chest.
4. Use calmer self-talk: “This is frustrating, but I can handle it.”
5. Move: a brisk walk can burn off the physical charge.

Long-term strategies

• Identify triggers and patterns (hunger, fatigue, certain topics).
• Challenge “always/never” thinking that fuels anger.
• Practice assertive communication: say what you need clearly, without attacking.
• Problem-solve the situations that keep coming back.

How therapy helps

Cognitive behavioral approaches help you understand the thoughts behind anger, build calmer responses, and repair relationships. Online therapy is a private way to start. If anger involves violence or threats, safety comes first — contact local resources or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).

Frequently asked questions

Keep reading: our online therapy guide compares costs, formats and the main services.

Sources

• American Psychological Association: Anger
• American Psychological Association: Control anger before it controls you
• American Psychological Association: Cognitive behavioral therapy
• NIMH: Psychotherapies