Watching someone you love struggle with anxiety is hard. You want to fix it, but reassurance doesn’t seem to stick, and pushing can backfire. Here’s how to support them in ways that actually help — and how to look after yourself too.
You don’t have to handle anxiety alone.
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Do’s
- Listen without rushing to solve. “That sounds really hard” often helps more than advice.
- Ask what helps them during anxious moments.
- Learn about anxiety so you understand what they’re experiencing — start with what is anxiety?
- Encourage small steps toward things they’ve been avoiding.
- Gently encourage professional help, and offer practical support like finding options together.
- Stay calm during panic — slow your own breathing and speak softly.
Don’ts
- Don’t say “just relax” or “it’s all in your head.”
- Don’t give endless reassurance — it can feed the anxiety loop.
- Don’t take over everything they fear; accommodation can keep anxiety going.
- Don’t make them feel like a burden.
During a panic attack
Stay with them, speak calmly, and encourage slow breathing and grounding. Remind them it will pass. If it’s the first time or there’s chest pain, seek medical care. See what to do during a panic attack.
You don’t have to handle anxiety alone.
Online-Therapy.com connects you with a licensed therapist and a structured CBT program you can follow from home. Use code THERAPY20 for 20% off your first month.
See how it works for anxiety →Sponsored link · Cancel anytime · Not an emergency service — in crisis, call or text 988
Suggesting therapy without pressure
Try: “I’ve noticed things have been really hard lately. Would you be open to talking to someone? I can help you look.” Online therapy can feel less intimidating as a first step, and a free anxiety test can open the conversation.
Take care of yourself too
Supporting someone is draining. Keep your own routines, set limits, and consider talking to someone yourself. If you’re ever worried about their safety, call or text 988.
Frequently asked questions
What should I say to someone with anxiety?
Validate first (“That sounds really hard”), ask what helps, and avoid telling them to calm down.
Is reassurance bad for anxiety?
A little is fine, but constant reassurance can strengthen the worry cycle.
How can I get my partner to try therapy?
Share what you’ve noticed with care, offer to help find options, and let them decide.
Ready to talk to a licensed therapist?
Online-Therapy.com pairs you with a licensed therapist, weekly live sessions by video, voice or text (Standard plan and up), and a step-by-step CBT program. Use code THERAPY20 for 20% off your first month.
Get started with Online-Therapy.com →Sponsored link · Cancel anytime · Not an emergency service — in crisis, call or text 988
Sources
- NIMH: Anxiety Disorders
- NIMH: Panic Disorder — When Fear Overwhelms
- NIMH: Psychotherapies
- SAMHSA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline