Separation anxiety isn’t only for children. Adults can experience intense, persistent fear about being apart from a partner, child, parent or other attachment figure, often with worries that something terrible will happen to them. Since 2013, the DSM-5 recognizes that separation anxiety disorder can begin in adulthood. It’s treatable.
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Symptoms in adults
- Excessive worry that a loved one will be hurt, fall ill or die when apart.
- Needing to know where they are at all times; frequent calls or texts.
- Distress or physical symptoms (headaches, nausea) before separations.
- Avoiding travel, work trips, or sleeping away from home.
- Difficulty being alone.
- Nightmares about separation.
A clinician considers separation anxiety disorder in adults when these symptoms last about 6 months or more and cause significant distress or problems in daily life.
Separation anxiety vs normal missing someone
| Normal | Separation anxiety |
|---|---|
| Missing someone, then getting on with your day | Fear and dread that dominate the time apart |
| Occasional check-ins | Constant checking, panic if no reply |
| Travel is manageable | Avoiding trips or time apart |
Causes and risk factors
- Childhood separation anxiety or anxious temperament.
- Loss, illness or trauma involving a loved one.
- Major life changes: moving, a child leaving home, a new relationship.
- Other anxiety disorders, panic or depression.
Related patterns: anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, health anxiety.
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Treatment
- CBT: identifying catastrophic predictions and testing them.
- Gradual exposure: practicing planned separations of increasing length without checking.
- Reducing reassurance-seeking: agreeing check-in times with loved ones.
- Medication: sometimes helpful; discuss with a doctor.
Self-help steps
- Create a calming plan for separations: activity, breathing, a set time to check in.
- Notice “what if” thoughts and write a more realistic alternative.
- Build independent routines and friendships.
- Limit checking a partner’s location.
Frequently asked questions
Can adults have separation anxiety disorder?
Yes. The DSM-5 recognizes adult-onset separation anxiety disorder.
Is separation anxiety in adults linked to childhood?
Sometimes, but it can also start after loss, trauma or big life changes.
What’s the best treatment?
CBT with gradual exposure is the main evidence-based approach.
Is it the same as anxious attachment?
They overlap, but anxious attachment is a relational style while separation anxiety disorder is a clinical diagnosis.
You don’t have to handle anxiety alone.
Online-Therapy.com connects you with a licensed therapist and a structured CBT program you can follow from home. Use code THERAPY20 for 20% off your first month.
See how it works for anxiety →Sponsored link · Cancel anytime · Not an emergency service — in crisis, call or text 988
Sources
- NIMH: Anxiety Disorders
- American Psychological Association: Anxiety
- American Psychological Association: Cognitive behavioral therapy
- SAMHSA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline